my birthday photo w my baby :)
It’s Saturday, Saturday the 24th of March and exactly two months since i’ve written. An unusually warm winter has brought about Spring early, with flowers beginning to blossom along the stone wall. It’s been so balmy that I’ve been able to break out the mini skirts and shorts nearly a month and a half early. I’m now twenty six and content with that.
To catch you up, I lost resigned my job. As I had taken a new one this family backed out so now I’ve no job. Even though I’m scared, because now I’ll have no income until I get another job. I’m hopeful for the future, at least Ash is always there for me. He has been a great support to me. I love him so much and I deeply miss him. It’s been so long since we’ve fallen asleep in each others arms. He wasn’t able to come up for my birthday, but he did spend the 18th with me & my friends in NYC. He also bought me a JUICY shirt :) but it was the new letter he wrote me, presenting it to me. Were I read it on a park bench, that my love for him was overflowing. It was almost better then the River Side Park in January. We hit the Hard Rock, and spent nearly the entire time cuddling and walking NYC had in hand. GOSH I MISS HIM. Right now he is in Orlando at Disney. This was as much a surprise to me as to him.
He was in that place, he and I don’t like for near three weeks. We texted talked twice on the phone. He had gone in there, at the beginning of March, which was a surprise because he’d been so happy at my birthday. But the thing with Ash is he’s always got to put up a front and unable to be true to himself. I’m not surprised he finds himself ready to fall, but I promise him ALWAYS. I’ll catch him.
I’m very happy for him that he gets to go away on vacation. Still I know I’m a little jealous, that its DISNEY, a place I haven’t been for nor can fallow. His mom surprised him on Wednesday telling him he was going to Florida. He said he wouldn't take his phone and at first I cried. He wasn’t sure when he was coming back or were he was going. Since then we found out he’d be back the 28th the day Danny, Nat and I leave for NC. YES! We are truly going :) until April 1st. Its an 11 hour drive and I simply can’t wait. He told me he’d miss me while I was gone. I then reminded him that I would have my phone.
Yesterday I woke up having lost my voice and had to go see the doctor. I’m on medication now to fix that. I think it was this reason that he decided to take his phone :) I was so surprised when I got a text from the airport this morning at 5 before he left. I was smiling and I’m still smiling even though I miss him so much.
I started reading The Historian again. I was trying so hard to wait for the trip I couldn’t. I’ve made 8 complete CD’s and I’ve two unfinished and at least a few others for artist’s we like. Nat and I went shopping last weekend and so all I have to do is pack. I’ll do that Monday and Tuesday. I didn’t get payed yet and there are still some things I need. The CD’s have got to be done before Monday.
Last night Nat came over to watch a movie. I ended up finding and showing her all my Disney stuff. From when I nearly went and I put a bunch of Disney travel stuff in my Netflix instant que. So that though I couldn’t actually be with Ash, I could at least enjoy his vacation graphically with one video for 5 days. Ah, I digress :) I also planned to write Ash, a letter for each day we didn’t talk.....so this is for you baby...
So you’re in Orlando tonight, celebrating you’re time with your family. It must be wonderful that it’s just you and your siblings. I know this must already be becoming a wonderful experience. My only regret, though I’m so happy for you siting here with our Cinnamon thinking of you. Is that I can’t be with you to experience this freedom you’ve so surly craved. Not because I’ve never been to Disney World and you know I want to. No because I love each and every precious moment with you. Each moment I spend, holding your hand or kissing your perfect lips. Just serves to show me that love is real. Baby, you raze me up and I feel as though I can touch the sky. You show me what it means to be a little boat safe even in a stormy sea. Your comfort and protection soothes my heart and makes me strong. Oh how I miss you, more then you’ll ever know. It’s getting dark here. Soon the stars will light the sky and a silver moon will rise. Somewhere you’re there looking on this same vast sky. You’re always in my heart like a melody that repeats endlessly. I wish you were here, but I’m also so glad your having fun:) that’s all I ever dream is that you’ll be happy. I love you so much baby.
Not much happened today it’s gotten a little colder here. I watched Dawsen’s Creek, North Carolina is really beautiful. I can’t believe I’ll really be going soon. I find it amusing your coming home the day I leave. I can’t wait to see you, I hope you come up in April. I can’t wait to share and talk with you about our adventures. I just wish we could do them together. I long to have a special experience with just you.
Falling asleep in this bed alone is so cold. I long for your strong arms holding me. To fall asleep with you, just to the sound of your heartbeat and breathing. I miss all the little expressions of love we share. A look, how you see into my heart. A touch, when you take my hand. A kiss, when you take me in your arms and kiss me. How we both blush and how we are sometimes are so silly. Like young children with a first crush. Brushing our finger tips, swinging our hands laced. Pretending not to look but glancing at the other. I miss all this, last weekend I went and stood against the railing in the mall. We stood there once, do you remember? I smiled but I missed you.
Aw baby, sometimes words can’t express. I just feel like I’m breathing love I can’t find a word bigger then love. But I know I love beyond and endless and each moment I think of your love I smile. Come home soon my handsome man.
All my love your
baby girl <3
- Current Location::p
- Current Mood: thoughtful
- Current Music:Myra